Bestdreamever July 17, 2005
Posted by andy in : life, dream , trackbackI just had it. Like JUST THEN. So it’s hot off the presses.
Read on… and get ready for the twist!!
I’m at my apartment and people are waiting downstairs. Everyone in the whole building forgot their keys. Who woulda thunk it?
So I go in and let them all in, but then we have to wait until 5:15 when this woman’s voice comes over a loudspeaker and says “the sewage gate is now open.” Sounds disgusting, but it’s a dream so… whatever.
Some other stuff happens that I’ve forgotten, so it obviously wasn’t important and then I’m in this street with lots of shops and buildings on one side. I guess the other side was prairie or a waterfall or something. Maybe space. Or pirates. I never saw it.
Wait. if I never saw it, it was probably ninjas.
Anyway, I’m going between these shops doing stuff (can’t remember what: this bit didn’t rock) and I eventually get to this place that makes computer games. So I go in and start playing this game, which is kinda cool but, again… this is kinda hazy. I think I leave and do something else and then come back too. Who can say?
So then I’m LUKE SKYWALKER (major twist), or rather me but also him.
I’m on this weird planet with all these cool monsters and things with tentacles and stuff. Some blue pterodactyl with tentacles is in a bath with someone I know. I’m not saying who.
I’m hanging out with these guys who are like technologically advanced, but hunt for their food. They like to live traditionally. Which is why they shoot deer with lasers and blow up wilderbeast with rocket launchers.
I have to admit, they hunted pretty damn well, but I didn’t think that the killing of the wilderbeast warranted such extreme enthusiasm. The guy with the rocket launcher picked up it’s head and he was shaking it all around, like “MAN! I really blew up that wilderbeast!” Yay you.
I guess they could sense that I didn’t think share they’re enthusiasm so they decided to show me how great they were by trying to hunt me.
Heh… what-ever. I’m Luke Skywalker. I go rocket launcher hunting like ALL the time back on Tattooine. It was my ‘thing’. Somewhat akin to blasting womp-rats from a T-16.
So they hunt me, and they’re doing alright. There’s bullets and explosions all around me and stuff and I’m running and dodging and clambering over rocks (did I mention this place is like a rocky deserty place? Think Mars but woith Wilderbeasts and less red and you’ll be with me) and stuff and force-powering it up a notch: BAM!, but I’m not really worried because they’re only pretend hunting me and that’s okay.
I run away super fast and dodge and then i find this super cool awesome cave and climb down into it.
The cave is roundish and goes straight down (or straight enough for our purposes). It has all these awesome weird stone discs and ellipses made of stone with cool circle patterns on them embedded in the wall. It’s almost as if they were put there as platforms, purely for the purposes of climbing by some GENIUSES. Evil..? Who can say?
Suffice it to say, I climb down.
I hear the voices of the hunter guys coming after me and they’re all like “Wow! This cave is sooo awesome.”
So I’m hiding under one of these discs like a petulant child playing hide and seek (I am sooo Luke Skywalker) and then I hear this door open and from above me I hear someone say “It’s blind warriors!”.
A couple of matrix styled blind warriors walk in, looking cool with their weird sunglasses on and trench coats. I take a step and one hears me and looks in my direction and says “Skywalker” so I jump him and slice him with my light saber. HE regrets that decision, that’s for sure.
I dodge the other one and chop his leg off and start running down the cave.
Then, out of nowhere, Darth Vader comes charging after me in a shopping trolley. He’s got some serious speed up and so I’m running and I can hear him clattering behind me, getting closer.
I run outside (there’s a back entrance) and there’s some people hanging about, including my mother who ISN’T Natalie Portman (major disappointment - though Darth Vader didn’t look like him either, but I could tell it was HIM, who else but the dark lord would ride a shopping trolleychariot?).
Someone steps forward and says “when your mother said ‘it’s best you never know, after what happened with Darth Vader and me” we got a little curious so we did some research. It turns out they had a fling on Dantooine. You’re their son”.
And my mother looks at me and says “It’s true. So, don’t you see? All this squabbling you two have is really just a bit of father-son rivalry. Let’s all stop bickering.”
Stunned by this revelation I awake and immediately write a blog entry because…. KICK ASS!!
Comments»
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Darth Vader? In a shopping trolley!!
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